


Lettuce Be Soulmates!

by LiminialFaces



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Food, Janus and Virgil are brothers, Logan is a good friend, M/M, Mild Language, Remus is Remus (but a bit toned down), Roman is a good friend, Soulmate AU, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, everyone is sympathetic, janus is tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:13:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26921206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiminialFaces/pseuds/LiminialFaces
Summary: “I could really go for a sandwich right now.”There it was. Written plain as day, right on Janus’s left wrist, the one he had cut about a week prior while making some toast for himself. Janus read it again, just to make sure he had read it right. Then he read it a third time to make sure he wasn’t in some weird, strangely vivid dream.Then he swore loud enough for his brother, his mother, and the elderly couple on the other side of the parking lot to hear.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 6
Kudos: 80





	Lettuce Be Soulmates!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at fanfiction, so constructive criticism would me much appreciated! This was originally posted on my tumblr, but I figured I would post it here as well. It's not my best work- I wrote in in one day-, but I felt like doing something for Soulmate September, and I ended up having a lot of fun with it! Soulmate AUs aren't my thing, but writing sure is! (see the end for more notes)

Janus remembered the day when he earned his soulmark somewhat vividly. He would like to say “as if it were yesterday”, but it had not been yesterday, it had been his 14th birthday, and many of the details blurred over time, as details do. Did he ride in the front seat next to his mom, or did his older brother? Had the backs of the carseats already been ripped open, the yellowness of the bare material burgeoning out behind the sloppily applied tape, or were they still intact? Had the wind outside been a slight breeze or an invisible whirl strong enough to almost whip his hat off? The thing Janus specifically remembered was a jealousy giving way to smug excitement.

His brother Virgil, who was born three years earlier than Janus, had already received his soulmark, and was sure to brag about it every time the topic of soulmates was brought to mind. Virgil would wax poetic about the beautiful woman or handsome man who would one day find him “Such a kind person- awfully tall, although he was so nice to reach up to the highest shelf for me!”. It wasn’t the most glowing of endorsements ever, but it was certainly quite sweet. Virgil’s soulmate better be as sweet as they sound, Janus had thought more than once when he was particularly angry with his brother, They’ll need to be the nicest person around to put up with him without lobbing his head off.

Ever since getting his soulmark, Janus had noticed small changes in his brother. Virgil was measuring his height more and more, and smiled softly to himself whenever he hit a growth spurt. (He was, in fact, quite tall. It seemed to be a family trait, as Janus was quickly growing as well.) Virgil had also been frequenting the library more and more often, even if he spent most of his time there sitting in the armchairs and looking at his phone. Janus told himself that he wasn’t envious of his brother, if anything, Virgil was making himself look like a fool, but that was a very obvious lie. Janus was very, very jealous.

Janus also remembered (though a bit cloudily) the moment it happened. It was Janus’s 14th birthday, and he had informed his mom that he wanted to get his soulmark in the park. Janus had always admired grandness and dramatics- why not indulge in a little fanfare from time to time? But he knew that his mom didn’t have the money to indulge in something like the soulmark parties that some of the kids in his grade were having. So the park would have to do. Janus was sure he could make it dramatic in his head. Somehow. Unfortunately, Janus’s wish was never delivered.

Janus slouched in his (mysteriously placed) seat, absentmindedly scratching the eczema on his cheek and around his eye.

“Mom, you remember when Janjan was born, right? When I had my soulmark revealed, the time was really important!” Virgil said, fidgeting with the dangly strings on his hoodie.

Their mother casually tossed a cigarette butt out of the open window. She always opened the windows when she smoked. It amplified the whooshing of the wind to the point where Janus could barely hear himself think, but she did it “so that her boys could breathe”. Though Janus always argued that everyone would breathe better if she didn’t smoke, her opening the windows was another one of her famous half-compromises, something Janus learned to live with, even if he preferred not to.

“It was around two-ish, I think.” She said, absentmindedly.

“You think.” Grumbled Janus, too quietly for her to hear.

All of that is to say, the exact anniversary of Janus’s birth was at 1:52 (and 36 seconds), three minutes before this conversation transpired. His soulmark had already appeared, but he didn’t notice until later, when he was closing the car door, and happened to turn over his wrist.

“I could really go for a sandwich right now.”

There it was. Written plain as day, right on Janus’s left wrist, the one he had cut about a week prior while making some toast for himself. Janus read it again, just to make sure he had read it right. Then he read it a third time to make sure he wasn’t in some weird, strangely vivid dream.

Then he swore loud enough for his brother, his mother, and the elderly couple on the other side of the parking lot to hear.

Off-topic soulmarks weren’t unheard of, although they weren’t exactly common either. Soulmarks were simply the first words your soulmate thought when seeing/meeting you. But when most people see or meet other people, their thoughts tend to be more focused on the person they are seeing and meeting. It was much more likely to receive a soulmark that you were the main focus of, even if it included a few details that were unrelated. (For example, “Oh my stars, his eyes are stunning behind his glasses! Who let this nerd be this hot?! Fuck, now I’m craving those nerds candy things. I don’t even like those.” In the case of Logan, Janus’s college roommate, who confided in Janus that ever since receiving his particularly long soulmark, he carried around a box of nerd candies.) Soulmarks that mentioned food, on the other hand, were extremely common.

Janus hated his soulmark with a burning passion, even after he recovered from the initial shock. He would have taken anything! Preferably something that praised how handsome he was, but he would have been open to “what an asshole” as well, or something along the lines. At least an enemies to lovers dynamic would have been exciting! At least it would have been steamy! Not… whatever that was. It was boring, it was strange, and it was wrong. While Janus went through a phase soon afterwards where he would cover his soulmark up with makeup and write, “What a handsome yet mysterious fellow! I must know more!” Most people saw through that rather quickly, and Janus was forced to come to terms with the unique words on his wrist.

15 years later and Janus was working at a law firm, living in a fairly nice pet-friendly apartment, and caring for his snake (and child) named Fluffy. Fluffy wasn’t the least bit fluffy, she was a snake, but Janus enjoyed how it was a misnomer, and also (if he was to be honest with himself), wanted to choose a name that was as cute as his snake was, despite having no experience in naming cute things.

He hadn’t found his soulmate yet, which was something Janus was completely fine with. He was far from lonely, he had two best friends who he would kill for; Logan (who Janus had met at college) and Roman, Logan’s fiance/soulmate, who Janus had gotten to know personally after he roped Janus into his weekly volunteering: reading and acting out books to hospitalized children. Janus hadn’t expected to find this fun, but he had begun to eagerly await saturday afternoons, where he would dramatically reenact the villain’s lines in front of a group of excitable children.

Janus had seen Virgil less and less since Virgil had found his soulmate, a kindly divorced father of one named Patton. Janus didn’t resent Patton (no one could stay mad at the man for very long), but he did miss his brother, which made him resent the concept of soulmates even more. Janus was open to romance, but none of his past relationships had really worked, and he failed to connect to anyone on the dating apps he sometimes downloaded when his apartment grew too quiet. No, Janus wasn’t lonely. But he wouldn’t have been opposed to a partner either, to tell the truth. Maybe it was just Roman rubbing off on him, but seeing his friends and family find love made him feel a little… incomplete.

It was a fairly warm autumn afternoon when Janus met his soulmate for the first time. Was that a spoiler? Well, you knew what you were getting into when you clicked onto this fic. This is a soulmate AU, what did you expect?

Janus, the incocerable king of cancelling on plans and not going to places had been bested by his so called best friend, Logan, in a conversation that Janus never had any chance in. A few weeks prior, the two had gotten coffees together at a local cafe, which was where Logan dropped the question.

“The Torres family hosts a get-together of sorts every year, and this year, it has fallen on Roman to organize it. Of course, that means I am organizing it. I was wondering if you would attend? I’m afraid I may need someone in my corner.” He explained.

“I’d like to say yes, really, but I’m afraid that sounds like the single most dull way to spend my evening ever concocted since the invention of time.” Janus said, rolling his shoulders back.

“I had hoped you would be more sympathetic to my plight, Janus. It has taken a while for Roman’s immediate family to accept the idea that his soulmate is a man, and even still many have been vocal about their dislike of me. I know it would mean a lot to Roman if this night went as perfectly as possible.” Logan replied, meeting Janus’s eyes.

“Ooh, playing the sad boyfriend card, are we? Seems a bit underhanded, dear.” Janus shot back, trying to cover up the guilt that welled in the back of his throat.

“I assure you, we are not playing any sort of game of cards. To my knowledge, we are having a conversation.” Logan said, his eyebrows furrowing in slight confusion, before moving on. “But if it is really impossible for you to make it, I understand.”

“No, no, I’ll make it. Just, uh, don’t serve any sandwiches.”

“Roman is in charge of getting catering. I will inform him that you don’t want any sandwiches.”

“Noooo, don’t tell him! He’ll order sandwiches just to spite me!” Janus said, his eyes widening, but Logan wasn’t listening. Instead, he was checking his watch.

“I’m afraid I must leave. The event is on the 23rd at our place, I’ll see you there.” Logan informed him, and that was that.

Soon, it was the warm autumn evening in question, and Janus found himself making his way to the couple’s house. A sizable part of him was trying to command his limbs to bail now, but a louder part of him knew that it was too late, and that he had to stick with his commitment. He knocked on the door of their smallish (but cosy) house, and made his way to the backyard, where many of the members of the Torres family were already milling about.

To Logan’s credit, he had managed to make the place look rather nice, and had strung lights up on a few of the surrounding trees, put cushions on the lawn chairs, and generally succeeded in making the backyard feel welcoming and classy, if a little basic. Janus glanced at the food that had been set out on white fold-out tables and found, much to his annoyance, that Roman had indeed ordered sandwiches. But before he could find Roman and give him a piece of his mind, Roman beat him to it.

“Janus!” Came a voice from the other side of the yard, and before he knew it a smiling man was wheeling toward him fast enough that Janus instinctively dodged out of the way, despite Roman coming up just slightly short of where he had been previously standing. “You came!”

“Trust me, I wouldn’t miss the Torres family gathering for the world.” Janus responded sarcastically, as was customary.

“As much as I adore parties, these nights can get awfully tense, but with you here, I’m sure it will be more golden than treasure pillaged from the depths of a dragon’s lair!”

“You and Logan both. You know that I don’t know anyone here, right? Do you two think I’m some social magician or something?” Janus replied.

But Roman’s attention was already elsewhere. “Apologies, my reptile revereling friend, it seems like I must rescue Logan from Aunt Emilia yet again! I’ll catch you later, Janjan!” He said, and not a few moments later the back of his wheelchair receded deeper into the backyard, leaving Janus standing there, at a loss for what to do. He didn’t even get a chance to reprimand Roman for his choice in cuisine.

He slipped his hands into his leather jacket, and leaned against a wall all cool-like, but even that wasn’t enough to deter the awkwardness of not knowing what to do at a party of strangers. He hoped he would see the dark head of hair that towered over most of the other party-goers that indicated Logan’s presence, or hear the loud dramatic declarations that marked Roman’s movement through the small crowd, but no such signs appeared. A few of the Torres family members stopped to chat with him, making general small-talk. Though the inevitable rude (and slightly prying) question about his eczema surfaced, he was afforded the comfort of not being as scrutinized as Logan. Truthfully, Janus would have taken the scrutiny over the boredom of being generally ignored.

The idea of leaving now and going home to the comfort of his apartment and his snake child was looking more and more appealing, when he heard a slightly hoarse voice that was coming from… above him?

“Ahoy! Blond dude! Look up!” Commanded the voice.

And though Janus would have usually not taken the advice from mysterious disembodied voices, he instinctively looked up, and his eyes met those of a strange man who was sitting cross legged on Roman and Logan’s roof. The man was wearing fishnet leggings under army green shorts, a long dark coat, and a bright green shirt. He looked strikingly similar to Roman, although he had a mustache that curled at the edges, and a streak of white in his hair.

What the fuck is he doing on top of the roof?! Thought Janus. The strange man’s stomach grumbled, and the noise broke Janus out of his bewilderment long enough to respond.

“Yes?” He asked, unsure how to convey how weird the occurrence felt. 

“Can you grab me something from the food table? Preferably a sandwich, but I’ll take what I can get. Hey, do ya know if Romano has any deodorant around?” The man asked.

Janus didn’t know how those two ideas were linked, and he frankly didn’t want to. “Tell me your name first and why you’re sitting on my best friend’s roof, and then we can talk.”

“‘Tell me your name first’, what are you, a fae? I don’t have to tell you anything.” He said, crossing his arms.

“Do you want a sandwich or not? And is it really so strange to want to know what this,” Janus gestured from the man to the roof he was sitting on, and back again, “is about?”

The strange man wiggled his eyebrows. “Asking me what the fuck I’m doing on top of a roof, are we? If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were trying to flirt with me.”

“Okay, that’s it. I’m leaving.” Janus said, completely done with the conversation.

“Wait, no! Don’t- Don’t go. I… I’ll tell you who I am after you get me a sandwich. Then you can come up here and talk with me and everything!” He said, patting the bit of roof next to him as if that made it more enticing.

“Fine.” Said Janus, but only because he had nothing better to do, and not because he was sort of honored that the man would allow Janus to get up on the roof as well. Because that would be stupid, and the weird dude didn’t even own the roof in the first place.

Janus grabbed an egg salad sandwich from the table, because that was the worst sandwich ever created in the history of sandwich making, and he hoped the cryptic weirdo would suffer. He walked around the side of the house, eventually finding a ladder that led up to the flat part of the roof, and paused. Was he really as sound of mind as he thought he was if he was considering joining the stranger on the roof. He eventually decided that he was indeed not sound of mind, but that someone had to eat the egg salad sandwich, and it certainly wouldn’t be him.

The first thing the stranger did when Janus joined him at his spot overlooking the party was grab the sandwich right out of Janus’s hand without even saying thank you. The man looked down at the sandwich.

“Egg salad! Score!” He grinned, pumping his fist in the air, which made Janus irrationally angry. The man eagerly started stuffing his face with Janus’s offering.

“Are you going to tell me your name, or will I just have to guess? Is it rumplestiltskin?” Janus asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Owhh, wigt. Rumus.” The man,-Rumus, evidently- said, through a mouth full of egg salad.

“I’m sorry?”  
“Remus Torres, at your service.” Rumus/Remus tried again, after swallowing. “Roman’s my little brother. By a few minutes, but still. It counts! And don’t let him tell you otherwise.” That explained the resemblance, though Janus had already assumed something of the sort. It would have been extremely creepy if Remus was just a random stranger who looked just like Roman and had climbed onto the top of his doppleganger’s house, though Janus wouldn’t put it past him. He had known Remus for about 15 minutes, and that sounded like something Remus would do.

“I’m Janus Dolion. Roman’s friend and unenthusiastic accomplice.” Janus replied.

They both sat there for a moment, listening to the hum of people talking below. From that slight distance, the voices blurred into each other, and the small-talk became a single continuous sound, like the hum of a car engine or the muffled hard to distinguish murmur of a recording so old that it’s impossible to tell what anyone was saying. And that moment was a nice one. It was something that Janus hadn’t realized he needed until that moment, but yeah. He needed it. He needed it a lot.

“Do you believe in fate?” Asked Remus, breaking the silence.

“Absolutely not.” Janus answered, easily and truthfully.

“Hmmm, okay. Do you believe in soulmates?” Remus asked, turning his head.

“Nah. I mean, some of the people I know met their soulmates and fell in love, and that’s all fine and dandy, but some people don’t. My mom found her soulmate, but that didn’t stop him from leaving her with a three year old son and another one brewing in her uterus. I used to believe in soulmates, but I think getting my soulmark made me realize how ridiculous the whole thing is. It’s just another ridiculous part of our ridiculous existence as humans. If there is a god, I think this whole universe is just some elaborate prank. Just a big ol’ lie, a charade I have no interest in playing along with.” Janus replied. He hadn’t expected to bare his soul to the man like that, but there was something weirdly calming and approachable about Remus.

“I dunno. I do agree that it’s kinda ridiculous, but I like that about the world. Nothing would be any fun if it was played 100% straight. But maybe I’m just biased because I’m 0% straight.” Remus laughed at his own joke.

“How original.” Janus rolled his eyes, before Remus pressed on.

“What I’m trying to say is, look at this.” He raised his arm, lowering his sleeve and revealing a well-tattooed arm, although one line of text on his wrist was obviously not a tattoo.  
“What the fuck is he doing on top of the roof?!” it read.

Remus continued, “I like to think that I would still climb up on roofs even if I didn’t have this as a soulmark, but this definitely contributed to this pastime of mine. Now, whenever I’m feeling overwhelmed, I climb up on the nearest roof. And it sorta reminds me that there’ll one day be someone out there who wants to spend the rest of their life with me. Is there… anything like that with your soulmark?” He asked, tilting his head.

“Uh, I guess?” Janus raised his own wrist, revealing ‘I could really go for a sandwich right now.’

“So, do you love sandwiches?” Remus asked, looking down at his already mostly finished egg salad sandwich, and offering it to Janus.

“Ew, no. And the other way around. I hate sandwiches. I hate ‘em soooo much.”

“Oh.” Said Remus, sounding strangely disappointed.

There was another round of silence.

“Hey, Janus? Do you think we could be soulmates?” He asked, cautiously. Nothing about Remus was the least bit cautious, but there he was. He sounded so timid, so unsure.

Janus considered this for a moment. “Definitely not. Sorry man, better luck next time?”

“Oh…” Remus said again, quieter, and something in Janus broke.

“But… we could still hang out sometime. I’d be open to going on a date or such. You seem… not completely unbearable.”

Remus grinned, a starstruck expression melting over his face. “Yes!” He said, pumping his fist into the air. “Where do you wanna go?”

“Anywhere but a deli or sandwich place.” Janus replied.

“Darling, your sandwish is my command!”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to check out my tumblr, at https://spicethymecontinuums.tumblr.com/ ! Message me or shoot me an ask, I could use the company! Comments would be much appreciated, and I'd love to know if you're interested in seeing my work in the future. And hey, if you're interested in more content (sanders sides especially, but I'm interested in branching out), feel free to send me a pairing and a prompt. I'm partial to anything with Roman in it (save for RemRom), as he's my favorite character!


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